Hate at First Sight
by Nephthys of Irkalla
Summary: 'When they locked eyes for the first time, Jade could swear she didn't feel millions of caterpillars turning into butterflies in her stomach like it usually happens to any other girl in love. No. Because she was not in love with the tanned intruder.' Jori drabble. Introspective stuff.


_The TV show, Victorious, and its characters belong to Dan Schneider._

 **Hate at First Sight.**

When they locked eyes for the first time, Jade could swear she didn't feel millions of caterpillars turning into butterflies in her stomach like usually happens to any other girl in love. No. Because she was not in love with the tanned intruder, she was _in hate_ with her. And, on the other hand, she felt hundredths of carnivorous worms contorting in her guts. Eating away at her flesh and aggravating the hole in her insides.

Something that, eventually, made her feel starved for more. The need to consume more and to be filled with something else besides rage was driving her insane. She loathed being _all clingy_ and acting _all needy_ in front of people – she hated it more than words could ever describe.

And when they shared their very first kiss, she thought she would faint in sheer bliss; the ache in her heart and soul momentarily forgotten. But when they fought for the first time and ended up breaking up, she was sure she was going to die; mauled alive by the same worms that never quite turned into butterflies.

Of course, when Tori first told her she loved her, after a date, the Goth shut the door on the poor girl's face. And the little vicious part of her wished she had broken the half-Latina's nose. But deep inside, she just wanted to take it back and return the affection. Tell her she loved her, too. But she knew she didn't - at least not under the strict definition of the sentiment.

However, she was scared to extreme extents and it was a whole new emotion, something completely different from what she was accustomed to. And it took her two whole weeks to work out the courage to face her girlfriend and tell her that she was sorry, for everything. And, when she saw the Latina, she took in the small scab on the tip of her nose and Jade, against her best judgement, leant in to kiss the pain away; promising not to do that ever again.

 _She even surprised herself that day._

Eventually, after months and months of being _actually_ enamoured with the Latina, the worms died of famine – but, of course, they left in their wake a hole that only the Latina was able to fill.

That was what that intense hatred _did_ to her. It broke her apart and made her dependent in a drug that only her personal hell-raiser could provide her with. _Love_. But little did she care, as long as Tori was holding her, filling her with love, kisses and light caresses, everything was all right.

After all, she loved Tori more than she had once loathed her. And, she knew that she needed someone that would look into her eyes and see more than the vacuum nonexistence that had once filled her. Someone that would never be afraid of her. Someone that could help her become a better version of herself and of course, someone that would love her unconditionally. Tori was all those things and more.

Now her only worry was to keep the girl as her girlfriend, forever – _don't let her hang out with any potential thief_ , she said to herself so many times it was almost a mantra; because, honestly, she didn't want to lose the only good thing that had happened to her. But the trusted that Tori would never cheat on her - not with her unwavering eyes always looking at her - and she was sure this was the first time she trusted in someone through and through.

A small delusion.

Nevertheless, a part of her brain hadn't yet realised the young Tori Vega was too good a girl - a girl who only had eyes for her – even during her worst days – even in all her _gankiness_. The girl loved her.

The love that she felt was almost too overwhelming, but she needed Tori like oxygen in her lungs.

 _And she hated that_.

But she loved her.

 _Therefore, that was the reason why she was okay with being another stupidly in love kind of girl._

Maybe, someday, she'd learn to trust her - not yet. _Not quite yet._

Because you never quite trust, completely, in your enemies.

 _By: Nephthys of Irkalla._


End file.
